Feelings

Music: Green day - 21 guns

When you're end at the end of the road

and you lost all sense of control

and your thoughts have taken their toll

When your mind breaks the spirit of your soul

Your faith walks on broken glass

and the hangover doesnt pass

nothing is ever built to last

You are in ruins.

*heartache*

I'm starting to lose it.

Work

Music: Muse - New born

Okay, first. Thanks to those who cheered me up, really appreciate it. Feeling much much better after I started doing my calling job. In fact, besides being emo about my results, I regret choosing this job.

But well, like my team leader and others said, "slowly.. now is just the beginning". BUT shit, the starting point is killing me already. It got nothing to do with the pressure or environment, to put the blame on myself again, is my fault for not mixing with malays or speak in 'Bahasa Negara Kita' for the past 3 years.

Basically, my job is just doing outbound calls. Oh ya, I'm selling insurance for Prudential. I shall start from the origin.

Okay, the salary of this job stated in the net sangat tempting. RM1.4k min + allowance + commission. I know is not as good as modeling or road show, but tengok my size and I'm a dude. Compare with other offers, it was best. At first, when they called for an interview, I lied about my job experience. But on that day, I confessed indirectly lar.

*holy angel*

Supposed to do 2 rounds of interview. Pass the first, baru boleh hantam the 2nd one. But I was lucky I guess, went straight to the 2nd one and it was the manager who interviewed me. Stress gila. But I passed, suppose my basic was RM1.8k but due to my holy confession, it kena chopped to RM1.5k.. then it went up again to RM1.6k cause I had a little 'chat' with the female manager. HOHO~ she's still young okay!

Every newbie have to undergo a training session which consist of 5 days. But due to my imba absorbing speed, thats what my awesome trainer said, I finished in 3 days, whereas the rest.. the rest of the MBs, normal speed lar. Talked about my trainer, Hafis.. currently the 2nd adult Malay in my 'list of respect'. That dude gave me hell lot advices on off topic regarding life itself. I didnt know I was so not ready for the future. On the 3rd day, cause another trainer doesnt believe in his opinion about my progress, she called another trainer.. meaning all 3 trainers in 1 room semua test me. I was quite stress that time, sms-ed Sue, yet she gave me crap. But a little whisper by Hafis pumped up my motivation.

"prove those fellers that they are wrong"

"harr..?"

"you are my Best so far.."

*eyes on fire* "okay, I'm ready"

Sapu-ed till one of the trainer damn scared when I answer her question, cause when I answered wrongly, I showed dulan face till she had the mindset that her answer could be wrong. HAHAHA! Trust me, if you are at my shoes, you will laugh in your heart.

4th day, I get to see my colleagues. I was so freaking happy to see one chinese dude there cause the surrounding was all malays. At least one feller get to speak chinese with me. This time, all I had to do was just sit with either one of my colleagues and listen to their conversation with the customers. Is call the 'buddy' system

But when I entered the bathroom.. overheard the conversation between my teamleader and the big boss..

"calvin comes, that feller is out.. release him early"

At that moment, I was quite happy & bangga lar.. But 5 min later, the chinese dude came to me..

"tomorrow is my last day"

-_________________________-"

What the fish. Out of the 12 people in the room, why must kick the ONLY chinese. Kinda upset that time. Hmm, but till now.. I get along with all my colleagues well, although difference in color, they treat me like a little brother lar. There is this malay girl which sits 2 sits away from me, name was Hana, kinda cute. Apparently I feel she has the best ass in the office, HAHA. This morning, she came to me and when she opened her mouth.. I WAS SO HAPPY! finally someone that can speak Mandarinnnn~ Sigh, she's 20 and she's not in college.. guess ada financial burden, what a waste of talent. Besides, there is a this dude, people call him 'warrior'.. no idea why, he thought me a lot about calls, his expression when customer hang up on him was hilarious.

After 'buddy' system for 2 days, today I officially start making my own calls. When the list pop-ed up, I stunned. 30 people to call, all malays, 4 saja knew how to speak english. FISH CAKE HOT POT! Some of the KL customers, they dont even understand simple english. Obviously, I had a really really hard time handling those malay speaking ones. When I approached to my teamleader, he gave me that stupid retarded look and said

"oh, the system is like that, I cant do anything about it"

but when I asked Hana about it, she told me that the system NGAM NGAM changed, previously was mixture of races.. Change started when one of them complained that chinese and indian customers are hard to tackle.

-_____________________________-"

And no one inform my trainer & the manager who interviewed me and I went with the flow of english speaking during my training. The 'I quit' feeling is growing. Not to say I'm giving up, well.. I just find that is highly demotivating when you are not specialized in the field. Is like, calling a lawyer to do addmath questions.

Okay now, to talk about my 'gang' at work, 5 of them including me. There trainees as well, masuk the same time as me but we represent different insurance companies lar. All of them have unique backgrounds. Although is barely one week, but they shared a lot of stories with me.

Ayman

smokes, 11 siblings, wider knowledge in public transport than anyone I know, share his sex experience, been to lockup, no savings, once a gangster, stab people, chinese girlfriend.

Earlyn

smokes since form 2, clubs a lot, told me effects on every drugs she had, good english speaker, had bad experience with Melacca polices, treat me like a little brother, wide knowledge on sex toys and positions, persistently dont admit she lost her virgin, ex-chinese boyfriend, always remind me not to start smoking or do drugs.

Wati

smokes since standard 6, knows how to make kampung cigarettes, love to use one of the '48 hours awake' drug and others, worked in lots of insurance firm before, cut cars like a man, expression too kua jion, proudly admit she lost her virgin, chinese boyfriend.

Indian dude (forgot his name)

smokes, always share his cigarettes with others, good in english, still study, still a virgin but is hard to believe, quiet and cool.

Indian aunty (sorry)

a teacher once, no confident in her answer as she often copied mine, cant accept the fact that weekends have work, quite holy.

LOL, that's my gang.. I'm pretty sure there are more stories coming. Cause of my Holyness, one of them even invited me to her upcoming 'argh hem argh hem..' hotel party, said I upgrade my 'you know what' knowledge in 1 night. HAHAHA!

Sad that I have to work on weekends for 2 weeks. Sorry I could not make it guys! But the bright side is.. my holiday break starts at 23th till next year 3rd!

Down for once

Music: quiet.. just my breathing sound.

Is been a really really long time since I felt so down. The last was during college time after a confession, but I'm able to went through it after the super strong support from my long lost brotherhood members.



Sigh, but this time.. there's is no one I can freely go to, most of them are having the same pain as me, most of them are worst. So bad till I unable to find a way to cheer them up which you never see that coming from hockwee.



Still wondering what happen? Lol.. Monash final results are out and.. I failed law. In VU, law was my weakest subject, practically destroyed my beautiful average scoreline. But in Monash, I was super confident that I could nail this one. As much as I wanted to curse the shit out of the subject or to blame anyone who was involved, but at my work place, there is this poster hanging right middle of the wall, saying 'people tend to see mistakes in others and never themselves'. And that pop-ed out in my mind when I start blogging.



So I will put myself to blame,

I suck at Law,
I was overconfident with Joanna's treasure,
I took assignment lightly,
I skipped tutorial classes and didnt do homework,
I focused on Rachel more than I did on lecturer,


Tengok, list down baru tau ialah salah aku.
Regret now is useless, just dont do it next time.



Wanted to call my best friend out, but he's having exams in a few weeks time, should not even tell him my results first, hopefully didnt affect him on his preparation.. sorry Ivan. 2nd person who is free and stress free pop-ed into my mind, Sueyen. Wanted her to makan ice cream with me, she scared fat, failed big time. The word fat.. just dispersed in my brain and all I wanted to do was to makan.. my best way of self comforting. Then again, after ice-cream, oreo, & soft drinks.. I felt guilty pula. WTH!



Writting all this so I could make myself sleepy because I believe, most of them out there, are unable to sleep like me.. hehe. But people, dont be too sad about the underachievement. Shits happen and as time flow, you will feel better. Just make sure, you dont give up on it. Stand up, be strong, pass it next sam!



this post is for me. To cheer me, motivate me, and remind myself.

Cameron highlands

Music: B.S.B - As long you love me

This post..

is filled with words.. and words only! Pictures semua single handedly destroyed by my mom. Reason she gave,

"Ohh, I thought you took for fun only"

-______________-"

Here goes the story telling..

Journey to Cameron is way different from Genting, road is much narrower and curvier. Those people that has motion sickness will definitely have the vomit feeling all the way, someone like me only when in my father's car. Signboard sucks, stated 4km to the destination.. which makes my whole family especially my grands happy.. but when the car moved further ahead, another signboard appeared which showed 36km left. Oh, at one point of the mountain, the road was so narrow that once a large vehicle is in front moving slowly.. There goes your holiday mood. As one is killing enough, mine was 3. One more thing which I wont get to see so often on the road, there were around 15 Ferrari, different models, colors, engine sounds, etc.. drove the mountain together, macam.. racing!

Environment was not what I expected to be. I thought it would be a small town macam Bukit Tinggi which surrounds by plantations, but the place was HUGEE! Checked in the hotel at 4 plus. Everyone selects their rooms respectively, while everyone was in pair, I was the loner. Sighh! Good thing the bed was AWESOME.. best bed I ever lay on, lebih bagus daripada katil rumahku.

Went dinner with cousin and her husband at the back alley cause from her past experience, main road food are expensive and only noob tourist will makan, hahaha. Had cakur steamboat.. a forgotten art. Saw someone which look like Juvin, like super super look alike but the real one is skinnier. Dont know what's wrong with my eyes nowadays, last night on my way back after poker.. I was freaking sure I saw Joanna in her car near Mcd. Yet the real pig was at home. My Gawd! Spooky~

Next morning, due to my bad habit of waking up late, my family abandon me for breakfast. Sad case! the feeling macam donshue's china parents threw him dalam sampah when he was young, HAHAHA, just joking. Our first visit was Cactus Valley. Nothing special there, is like banyak plants and vegetables there. Had my breakfast there, strawberry milkshake and tart. My first ever milkshake, cause all this while, I assumed milkshake brings 'lou sai'. Heh~

Next place was butterfly farm. Again, nothing special, only thing that made the money I paid worth a bit was the touchable Hercules Beattle and my cousin's expression. Apparently, he was afraid of everything inside including the butterflies. Had lunch at town, order 老子号炒饭, a unique fried rice that you cant find in KL.

Driver needed his rest as well as all of us. Took a short nap and had dessert at strawberry farm after that. Drank milkshake once again, but this store was better than the previous one. It wasnt too sweet and you can actually feel the small bits of strawberry each suck from the straw. Ordered strawberry ice-cream for everyone, taste was just ordinary but after the strawberry topping.. it became extraordinary macam fries tambah cheese. DAMN GOOD! Mom bought 1 bottle of the topping and my ice-cream lover cousin bought 7. =.="

At night, we had blackjack.. our family game. Minimum bet, RM1, maximum RM2. HAHAA!

While gaming

bro "double As triple times!"

mom "yup"

bro "triple 7 7 times"

mom "yes ah? I thought only triple.."

Bro "me and friend play like that cause is hard to get"

me "less than o.001%"

mom "family game, 不用玩太大, triple will do!"

and next round, my mom dapat triple 7 instantly

mom "WAHAHAHAHA, triple 7 triple 7! 7 timesss! pay up daddy~

dad "I cant remember who said triple just now, hehe.."

mom "Zzzzzzzzz"

Went Boh tea farm before check out. The road was x2 narrower and horrible. Is like, only 1 car able to pass and you had to horn at each cornering. You will get my point when you visit that place. I didnt know tea plantation could be so big, few mountains! no joke. There's a rest point near the factory which has a very nice scenery and tea serving. And that was our last pit spot, went back hotel and checked out.

Sighh, my pictures arhh!! Just an average place to visit, I still prefer the beach. But heck, for the experience there lar.

Starting work next week. Sigh, there goes my holiday.

Erica's house

Music: Britney Spears - Cinderella

2nd trip to Erica's house. Picked up Sabrina and Seetnee in Sunway after their final paper. Before we depart, I remember telling Sab that it will be a 'long journey', but truthfully.. I hope it wont happen cause it involves my petrol money. And thank god I fetched them to get some Mcd nuggets.


不明白吗？

Okay, the location of tha place is Sg.Long, somewhere near Kajang. Supposedly we can reach in about 40 minutes time.. yet I took around 2 hours to reach the destination. Swt right? I missed and went in the wrong Jalan for more than 10 freaking TIMES! Even we were like.. 3 km away from her house, I pun SALAH turn! banyak phaill..


-________________-



When we reached, Erica was like.. "yorr Gor, how you drive one? I waited for damn long okay!" well, it was worth it. At least now I tau how to pergi her house. Superb happy to see my Fatty again, he sangat sangat sangat fat now, seems like my mui feed him well. Oh ohh, his ass sangat huge macam saya! heh~



We played with the dogs for awhile then had late lunch served by Erica's mom. Her homemade java mee still as tasteful as before.


Dapat spot fatty? he's naked cause he's too fat to wear one. heh~



We went for dinner at this bistro near her house. The cheese combo is.. EFFING AWESOME Recommended by Erica. A plate that includes variety of meat and a hot pot of hot melted cheese!


Makanan of the night

Drinks kami! mine's the green one. Code name - Allien blood

Food was so good till I dont have to post

The girls

Group picture taken by the owner of the store



Went to Jusco after that. Girls wanted to watch 2012, but ticket was completely sold out. We chill at Starbucks instead. Listened reality stories by Erica, banyak interesting to hear as it makes me understand better how friends come and go. In carpark, wonder what Erica is going to do without me. Hoho! Should ask her to bribe me for that service.


Only mereka order. I'm just being my usual self, giam siap and tiap sini tiap sana. wheee~



Wanted to makan Kajang Satay but sadly close again. Last trip we didnt make it due to stomach overloaded with BALLS.. Black black BALLS. So kami balik main poker.


Rick gay with fatty, Me busy sms.

Waiting for the big event

my turn to gay with fatty

Molested Lisa.

Heh.

That's how Rick look at my..

sister during the game! like some stalker right? She pun stun.

Take 1 - Losing face by Rick

Take 2 - Rick "sigh, I should've fold"

I know I know.. Swt right? Mui made me post this cause I lost in this game she created. I also made her do something too. HOHO!

Princess Sabrina tidur. Snored banyak loud.

Princess liza snored louder.

Game ends. Rick won RM40.
Rick "I win cause I didnt wear that pants!"

Legend hole in his pants that made him lost RM20 during our first visit.
Spot the black hole!


All of us slept soundly cause next morning.. Genting yo! "OI people, wakie wakie up! is already 1pm!" that's how Erica woke us up at 9am.


Erica's mom drove us up.

First stop, photo sticker. Ini candid semua orang..

Trademark post.


'dim gai' my eyes close everytime!?


At the longest escalator


Went for lunch at MerryBrown. Food okay lar but price si beh not okay. Met up with Erica's friend..

Suzan

Bonnie and her BF

Group Picture.


Erica, Suz, Bon and BF went to ghost house whereas I brought the rest pergi shopping. Went in to this shop near Ripleys, saw a keychain featuring future Naruto's weapon. Damn yeng, he confirm the 6th Hokage jor.

Sakura also quite hot. At least now she has boobs.

Heard that during the ghost house journey, Suzan was the Man of the Match. LOL, Suz FTW.



Decided to do something else cause themepark was close due to heavy mist.

Erica wanted to do rock climbing.

I started dulu.

My sampat sister cheering for me. Hoho~

Trying real hard to reach the top..

What's demotivating for me was that.. Rick chased up damn fast.

When both of us jatuh, up my sister pergi!

but she fell in the end, same place with me. Not bad! potential climber.



Went bowling after that..

Seetnee, doing Chidori..

Cute little Sabrina mui mui

Best of all. Bonnie's BF. Si beh power.. that was a strike.

Erica's first throw.. aint good.

so she decided to use other technique.. which earns her a 9.

unsatisfied, she changed.. and tutor Bonnie for the win!

Seetnee's 2nd killer move.

trademark lau sai throw

Suz, power throw.. just like her brother. She swims, no joke.

A winning throw. I find this picture sangat nice!




Starbucks again after 2 tiring sports. Rick and I shared cost to belanja Sabrina and Erica as their birthday gift.

Bought myself dark mocha..

Rick dulan so he added cream to make himself extraordinary.

Table 1

Table 2


We played 'Dare'. Whoever loses must buat that challenge lar. First blood was Rick, he had to hump the pole without sound.. and next, I had to hump the pole 5 times with an addition of moaning sound. Seetnee did the impossible.. effing daring. Suzan was the unluckiest, lost twice. Act macho outside but shy inside. xP


Group picture before we split.

now you know why themepark was shut?

Group once more before we left.

WWE superstar entrance accompanied by 2 chicks!



Mist was so thick that Erica's mom had to drive 20km/h. I had to rushed back for futsal game with BU4 people.. this time, I didnt get lost and actually made it back to pj in 1/2 hour time. Quite imba.. must be my adrenaline!



Once again, I had a really good time with you girls. Always cheers me up whenever you girls are around. Hope to have another trip like this again.. and of course, cant wait to see Fatty to grow fatter again.



Many thanks to

my awesome Mui Mui

Holidays

Music: Bond - Viva

Okay before I start, my slave MunLing cakap my blog macam banyak words. I baru realized.. usually most of the pictures are either from Erica or Rachel. As now I seldom meet up with them, so less pictures are taken. Sorry people!



Holiday started for most uni and colleges, up till now.. my holiday quite productive.



1) met up with Rachel, pergi makan besar di Carls along with Rick and Wukai. Updated each other with our lifes, gave advice to young Rick. He was so motivated till tapao-ed us in foosball later on. Visited her new house after that, her mom still macam sama, not much changes.. her homemade Ribena still as awesome as the first day I met her. Watched Phobia 2 at night, it was a disappointment. 5 parts, only the last part was entertaining.



2) pergi yam cha, futsal, and soon poker with Bu4 friends. Saw some of the old faces, also updated each other. Overall, their character and attitude all sama gay like old times. Currently semi-addicted to fifa09 with Yang. I still need to improve to beat him.



3) starting to gain the habit to read news and short stories, which I'm quite proud of it. Catch up manga and anime which I missed few months back. Watch taiwan dramas which I love, ngam ngam finished one, 绿光森林. Awesome storyline and pretty actresses. I like one saying 'you can share everything in the world, except Love' Why was I such a fool back then?



4) overnight at my sister's place at sg.long and went up genting. Will post it after I get the pictures from her. Did some crazy shit stuff up there, heh~



5) trying hard to gan fei. Work out at home which I think I almost give up due to laziness. Badminton with Sue and friends & swimming so far quite motivating. For my target next year, add oil!



6) going up Cameron with family tomorrow. Hopefully weather macam genting. and might be going to Fenfen's place after that. Kena 'cha' by her sisters after I ter-ffk them for the first time! They even gave me a nick and threatened me on our last outing. Oh, about Er jie.. she told me lots of story regarding government uni's life. I thank myself for not being so smart till boleh enter government colleges. Although is way cheaper, but their life there.. erm.. SUCKS! In Monash, I kept complaint about having no time, but Er jie is taking 4 extra subjects! 8 freaking subjects in 1 sam, think about when she has to revise for finals.. WAIT, think about the assignments for each subjects! Maybe that's the reason for her, a hot chick for not having a boyfriend yet.
Hmmm... =P




That's about it. Hopefully more to come and word like 'boring' wont pop out from my mouth till next year March.




Random news


Received news from my mom, one my aunt from Sitiawan which owns one of the top 3 earnings restaurants in Sitiawan, arguably one of the best place to have a wedding dinner, got OWNED. Apparently one of the competitors rented the shop beside hers.. and sells COFFIN. Instantly her business GG-ed. So people, you see.. to survive in this world, be careful even if you are at a stage where no competitor or new entrance will affect your business. Shits can happen anytime and surely there's someone, might be your close friends or family will try to steal that glory of yours.

Last paper

Music: Muse - newborn

Before I start anything..



I was close for getting myself into a 'phuaking' accident on my way home. I was 7 something.. LDP was super jam, and due to the study semangat last night. Stayed up all the way together with Rachel, wait not as late as her lar.. 5 seconds! I swear I closed my eyes for 5 freaking seconds and the car was moving! surprisingly & thank whoever-that's-beside-me lar. Pheww~



Oh I think it was on.. erm Sunday. Yingling won 2nd prize for the model competition thingy. Congrats young one. Met BoonMing and Marcia (another model), quite hot also. Jiayang wants to know her but he paiseh HAHA. But but.. if Rachel, the hot one from Help.. was here, she's able to stood up the rest also lor! banyak confident punya woman.


My best friend is a awesome boyfriend that went around asking people to support.. to cheer for Yingling.. and of course, asked me to deliver a bouquet of roses to her before the competition as he was having class that time. The face of hers banyak stunning! Sweet right? Sorry YL, couldnt stay long! exam terlalu close. =/



For this past few days, due to accounting paper.. I really screwed up cause I didnt enter tutorial class for about 1 month plus whereas in lecture class which was at 8am.. Although I entered every week, but mostly 'fishing' in class, Rachel's fat pig kept me awake most of the time. Back to story, Rachel helped me a lot AGAIN macam Joanna in other papers, difference is she dont budget calls. THANKS once again for saving my ass. Okay, similar to Joanna again.. she never like to take risk, she studied the whole damn thing (tutorial, lecture notes, textbook) all in 1 hellish night.


That rainy day.. I sin.. wait no, We sin together cause it was you that needed it LOL.


xD



mon

"I only study in the morning, I dont study at evening de"

"ahaha, good one..(countdown 3 more days)


tues noon - night

"eh what you doing now?"

"watch tv lar.. what else."

"SERIOUS? I thought you were just joking.."



-______________________-"



Ah yun did the same also. All sama sama pro people!


and from Mon till Wed.. I only touch 1 set of paper. Seriously just 1 exam-look-alike set. Didnt bother touching the tutorials or the text cause 我根本不明白 what the text wrote. Luck striked as 6 out of 8 questions were similar to the ONLY set I read. Hopefully a credit la!




Fat Rachel's recommendation. I dont regret watching it. It was awesome, 10 fingers up! Effects were really cool.. only part fake is how those leading char survived for so long. Storyline wasnt bad either, everyone should pergi watch. See how generous people show their true colors at desperate moments.



Came across this went I was doing my latihan, bro was playing dota..


rikki kill

"cb dog rikki"

"basher lan ah?"

" use teeth stun people?"


techies kill

"mahai techies bomb.."

"my wards there still cant see?"

"my ward fake or.."

"I know! sure made in china"



HAHAA, it was damn funny if you see it live!



Realised this post mentioned both Rachel too many times. Change bah..


Sueyen, hopefully you boleh recover well. Apparently her hand 'chaou gan', quite serious kind. Akibat tu, me and Rick cant work this saturday cause our leader so weak! Just joking. Cepat recover please! I nak $ leh.




Lastly,

Happy Happy Happy Belated Birthday
to my beloved Erica mui mui!
(convinced damn lot monash people she's my real sis HAHA)


LOL, she's still having her finals.. Sadly cant celebrate with her. But gor wish you all the best and we celebrate to the max after that.

Sampat-ness of her as usual.. but this is limited edition- 'her in wedding dress'